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From the Executive Director
This week I will have the opportunity to talk with young working moms about the realities and challenges in their lives. What does it mean to be a working mom? How do parents successfully integrate their work lives with their personal lives? How do parents compartmentalize in order to be efficient and effective?
I'm absolutely confident I don't have all the answers to these questions, but somehow my husband and I have managed to raise three children while we both worked full time. Two of our adult children have launched out of our home and into the world. The last child is on his way, still working through college at George Fox. Throughout the process of raising our children, we've learned a few things, and as I reflect on those lessons in preparation for my talk the word that keeps coming to mind is tension.
We all tend to regard tension as a negative thing, but tension is necessary and even healthy. Early in our parenting experience, my husband and I realized that if we felt like we were on a tightrope stretched between two extremes, we were living in tension. The place of tension seemed to us the healthiest, so we began to regard it as a worthy measuring stick. How did this play out? It helped us determine the right balance between over-discipline and leniency, privilege and responsibility, self-esteem and self-centeredness, and independence and family togetherness.
(By the way, I've carried this lesson into other areas of my life. I realized that if tension could guide a successful parent-child relationship perhaps it could guide my own self-management of workload and relaxing, scheduling and spontaneity, boldness and self-restraint - the possibilities go on and on.)
As your student comes home for the semester break, you may experience some tension at your house. Agendas may conflict: your student may want to sleep in late and spend most of his waking hours with friends, while you may have plans to celebrate the season family-style. Just remember this: the resulting tension may not be a bad thing. Perhaps it means that you are achieving a healthy balance as your parent-child relationship continues to grow and change. Maybe everyone can learn to relax with the tension!
My prayer is that you and your family will enjoy the grace and goodness of the Lord Jesus Christ this holiday season. Have a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year.
Sheri Philips
University Relations
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